MaithiWhatFace?

HEYO. How are your lives going? Great. I hope you're all having a Fabutastic Friday. I'm gonna make that a hashtag.

And then I'll post it on InstaFaceSpace.




Yeah, so, not my best day with the whole intro-thing.

Anywho, today I'm going to give you a new kind of blog post that I just made up: Patchwork Blogging!

Basically, it means I'm going to make a list (you're going to WHAT Molly? Since when did you do that?) but the things in the list are not going to be related whatsoever. They'll just be random little rants about random stuff. I'll even title them with hashtags, like Sam and Cat, just for you! (Bwehehe I just tricked all of you who went to that link. Like anyone actually does)

We'll see how it goes.

THE VERY FIRST EVER QUILT PATCHWORK RANT LIST

#LOLLIPOPWATER

Am I the only one who's noticed that if you're eating a lollipop and drink some water, after you drink the water, the lollipop taste all weird? It's the same with any hard candy and grapes. Whatsup with that? So I can't eat grapes and water at the same time?

#SOGGYRAVIOLI

So tonight I was making ravioli for myself because duh who doesn't like ravioli (besides my brother but we've already established he's kinda crazy). I suppose now would be a good time to point out that I like to eat ravioli. What's wrong with that? You say. Well, I say, you didn't let me finish. I like to eat ravioli RAW when it's still like frozen and everything. There you are, another thing you can judge me for. You're welcome. Anyway, on the little package thing it was all like, 'once you put the ravioli in, immediately reduce heat--DO NOT BOIL VIGOROUSLY!' And so I, being the rebellious teenager that I am, was all like, 'Hah! Joke's on you! I'm gonna keep it at a high boil and it'll cook faster.' Yeah, right. Like 5 seconds before it was 'done' my mom walks into the kitchen and goes, 'Molly? You're not supposed to have the heat this high on ravioli. The ravioli can burst and it'll get water in it and be all soggy.' And can you guess what happened? Well you're wrong! The ravioli turned out fine! ... Just kidding. Jota ka. You were right, the ravioli was all wet and gross. Now I'm sitting here staring into a bowl of soggy ravioli.
Yay.

#THINGSMYGEOGRAPHYTEXTBOOKSAYS1

I think I'm gonna have to make this a recurring thing on my blog, because some of this stuff is just so ridiculously hilarious. So here I am, like so, sitting and reading diligently out of my geography textbook, and then suddenly this happens:

"India also recognizes 22 so-called scheduled languages, including 15 Indo-European (Assamese, Bengali, Dogri, Gujarati, Hindi, Kashmiri, Konkani, Maithili, Marathi, Nepali, Oriya, Panjabi, Sanskrit, Sindhi, and Urdu), 4 Dravidian (Kannada, Malayalam, Tamil, and Telugu), 2 Sino-Tibetan (Bodo and Manipuri), and 1 Austro-Asiatic (Santali)."



Come again?

Is that...is that even allowed? Like...what? What just even happened?


#SUPERSWEETCHOCOLATECHIPS

Why are chocolate chips always called semi-sweet chocolate chips on the bag? I think we've all tried them, and we all kinda know, ahem, they are INCREDIBLY sweet. But maybe they were like rude in a past life or something because according to the label, they're only semi sweet. What if that became a new compliment? OMG, I love your shirt, it's semi sweet!

#FUZZYSWEATSHIRTS

Why is it that after you wash a sweatshirt that's super comfy and soft it gets all rough and it's not soft anymore? I think the industry probably just doesn't want us to wash our clothes, so when we get a new sweatshirt we just wear it for weeks on end until it's so stained and disgusting that it's better to have it become defuzzified in the washing machine.

#NONPRINTINGPRINTER

Maybe it's just my printer that's like this, but it's really annoying. I'll click print on my computer.

*beat passes*

*like 6 more beats pass*

Printer finally wakes up and starts making Griever noises and like spazzing out.

*beat passes*

Printer still sounds like someone just threw a robot down the stairs and it's trying to stand up.

*beat passes*

Whirr click click click

*beat passes*

It actually sucks in a piece of paper! Finally!

*beat passes*

It was just kidding. The paper got spat back out, that was just a test routine, 'cause, you know, it hasn't been used in the past five minutes or anything.

*beat passes*

Printer actually starts to print!

*290 beats pass*

Finished paper comes out of the printer!

*beat passes*

Look at the finished piece of paper!

*beat passes*

It cut off half the page and printed it in magenta.

*beat passes*

*facepalm*

#THINGSMYGEOGRAPHYTEXTBOOKSAYS2

"Because everyone lives in an urban settlement or a rural settlement, an increase in the percentage living in urban areas has produced a corresponding decrease in the percentage living in rural areas."

Yes, textbook, very good! If something increases, then the other thing does decrease. I'm so proud of you!

#ANDTHENISAWTHIS(BECAUSEIHADTOADDAPHOTO)

Image Courtesy of FunnyMeme

I have no words.

Like...nope, I got nothin.



So there's your first ever patchwork blog post.

You're welcome.

I hope you're just as happy as I am that it's Friday and have a #WonderfulWeekend! #InstaTwitIt