Trapping Nostalgic Pistachios

Asparagus is really not my favorite food. 

I'd probably have to go with something more along the lines of ice cream. Yeah, that sounds pretty good right now. But as long as it's not asparagus flavored. You laugh, but they've got PISTACHIO flavored ice cream now.


I really can't believe it either. Who would want pistachio ice cream? Like, if you're going for healthy, you probably shouldn't be eating ice cream anyway, and if you are, why would you make it gross by pistachio-izing it?

But anyway, this post is gonna be kind of...how do I say this...kind of like random threw up in a bucket. And then I wrote it down. It's been in progress for a while now, it's kind of just where I write down random stuff that occurs to me and I'm like, 'hey, I could write about that on my blog' except they're all unrelated and short.

Ready?

*We are not responsible if you are allergic to randomness and thereby get deathly poisoned by its vomit*

RANDOM'S DIGITAL VERSION OF ITS BUCKETFUL OF VOMIT

1) I'm one of those people who, when they have a low grade towards the end of the quarter, does the math and figures out how low they can afford to get on the remaining assignments to keep an A. Yeah, you could say I'm a nerd. What, aren't you?

2) Is it just me who's afraid to hide my favorite easter eggs because I'm afraid they won't get found?

3) Alright, major 'what the heck is up with society' here.

Blogger.

THE COMMENTS.

IT'S SO RIDICULOUS!

They're all like, descramble this blob of black ink and prove you're not a robot!

And it LEGITLY SAYS THAT

IT SAYS TO PROVE YOU'RE NOT A ROBOT

Image Courtesy of Blogger (duh)

LIKE WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHAT KIND OF ROBOTS HAVE THEY DEVELOPED THAT CAN LOG ONTO A COMPUTER AND TYPE AND SHOULDN'T THEY BE ABLE TO FIGURE THAT OUT BETTER THAN US??? WHAT

Image Courtesy of Blogger

Not as bad as some but like really...is that really necessary....

Image Courtesy of Blogger

Right...(in the voice of Bill Cosby in his Noah sketch (GO WATCH IT IT'S SO FUNNY))

Image Courtesy of Blogger

WOAH HEY I CAN ACTUALLY READ THIS ONE!!

Image Courtesy of Blogger

Oh, so you're saying this isn't an ink blot test? Where I say what pictures I see and you tell me what type of a person I am?

And then suddenly they get these new ones, and I'm like OMG MAYBE IT'LL BE EASY NOW (plus easier for robots....but oh well?)

Image Courtesy of Blogger

Oh my gosh that's actually kind of legible! MAYBE I WON'T HAVE TO ENTER SOMETHING SIX TIMES BEFORE IT LETS ME THROUGH!

And then I see the second one. Which just happens to be this.

Image Courtesy of Blogger

What.

And then this happens.

Image Courtesy of Blogger

I mean really. Would it really be so bad if a robot commented on someone's blog? It could actually be kinda entertaining...

*robot voice*
Ha. Ha. Ha. That is quite comical.

I see you have created a new word. My systems do not process this "YOLO". May I suggest turning your brain for something smarter? An orange, say?

See, this is exactly why it will be simple for us to dominate the human race and take over the universe. Wait, did I type that out loud?

4) Am I the only one who, when I reach the halfway point during a test, starts screaming in my head OOOOOHHHHHHH I'M HALFWAY THEEERRRRREEE

5) I also feel like I take longer filling in the bubbles and making sure they're perfect and neat than actually reading and answering the questions....

6) When you realized it was Disney and not Gisney....

7) Speaking of Disney, here are three words they taught me that I never would have known otherwise because they're so obscure:
       Satchel (like seriously, couldn't they just've said bag or man-purse or something? Maybe they  
                     were purposely trying to be educational. But MOM Disney's EDUCATIONAL it taught          
                     me another word for BAG!)
       Spindle (yes, because I so often come in contact with a spinning wheel)
       Provincial (okay, fine, I still have absolutely no idea what this means)

8) When you are freaking out about something for school and email a teacher about it and they don't respond and you're like having a panic attack and then the next day at school they're like, "Oh hey, yeah, I saw your email, that totally works."

...

WELL THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU REPLY I WAS LIKE DYING OVER HERE

9) It's so annoying when you like google something and you're reading the captions under the header for a website and it cuts off in the middle but you want to finish reading it so you click on the website and you can't find that text to finish it ANYWHERE.

And that makes literally no sense...kudos to you if you actually figured it out.

10) When you get jolly ranchers during SAGE testing (which is literally the stupidest thing to ever happen #TAKEDOWNSAGE) but you're on a stupid CLEANSE (translation: not allowed to eat sugar for a week) so you have to sit there and suffer through the test with them on the desk right next to you ghostly whispering, 'eaaatt meee. EEAAATT MEE!' and things like 'you know, that cleanse thing is really stupid. you should just not do it' and 'you deserve sugar! you've been cleansing, and plus, you're taking a test' and 'oh give me a break you can hear everyone else unwrapping theirs just do it'.

11) Why is it Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and it's super weird to say Happy Christmas or Merry literally anything else?

12) That terrible moment when you're typing your password and you're so used to it you're going fast and you realize you messed it up after you hit enter and you just have to sit there in sadness waiting for the computer to bounce you back to the re-type in everything because you messed up one letter screen!

13) That horrible, sinking feeling when you're on a sudoku or crossword puzzle and something doesn't add up....

Well anyway, that's a wrap. And I mean like a salad wrap, because I can't eat SUGAR. ARRRRRRRRR